• Sue Deakin

"Why am i here?"

Updated: Jun 17, 2019

Firstly, this blog is not to blame or shame anyone for their life choices. Rather, it’s about standing up and being responsible for our own shit. I’ve made this page so that I can start taking responsibility for where I am at in life.

I created this page to help me learn that the only way forward is through self-love.

And self-love… as much as it can be ‘airy fairy’, it is absolutely necessary to help us live our best life possible and build nurturing, loving relationships.

Who is to blame?

Everytime we struggle, we need to reflect within. What is this situation reflecting into me? We can learn and grow through this process.

Yes, some of us have had horrible stuff happen in our lives.

Some of it we can admit was our own fault, and some of it we can blame others for.

Or we can drop the blame game and choose to just move forward and live our best life from this point on.

Fear and more fear

I asked myself this question: “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t be judged?”

I thought about it and I thought about it. Let me tell you my story.

Most of us never do what our heart desires because we’re scared. Scared of being judged. Scared of losing those closest to us. Fear, fear, and more fear stops us from being our greatest self.

Over the past few years, I have grown the courage to tell my story. I’m going to start with where I’m at right now.

Healing my emotions

Emotional healing is where I’m at.

Sounds pretty strange for a girl that most people would think is nailing life, but you don’t live in my head everyday.

You don’t know what it’s like in there.

Judgement not only comes from others, it sneaks up in our own thoughts. Self-judgement, self-sabotage stopping us from achieving our own greatness. Most of us don’t even realise that we are the cause of our own suffering. Our own mind.

I’ve had this deep sadness in me for as long as I can remember. I used to cry a lot as a child, and now I understand that crying is the best medicine.

Whether it’s because you’re happy or because you’re sad, crying cleanses your soul. Holding back emotion causes disease, which can manifest in our body in myriad ways. There’s only one disease I know, and it’s called dis - ease.

I have laughed and cried so much lately, that I know some people might think I’m really sad inside. Although sadness is there, the more I cry, the happier I become.

Building soul connections

And what’s more beautiful is, the relationships that I am building with people now are more on a soul level. They connect with me and see me on a deeper level because I am allowing them to.

When you let people see you, they also allow you to see them. This is the most amazing and profound experience I have had. My friendships are now incredibly deep, no words can explain the feeling I have with some people in my life.

The teachers I teach beside everyday, my flatmates who I have only known for a few weeks yet have become my best friends, the relationship with my daughters who I don’t see very often, but when I do, it’s beyond words and all love. The connection I get when I look into my puppy’s eyes. I feel that he understands me, I know that he does. We are best friends.

Come with me…

Over the next 31 days, I would love for you to join me in my emotional healing experience.

I’ve attempted this journey a few times now, and in my meditation practice today, I received a message to share my journey with the world.

This way, not only do I get to heal, but maybe you will as well.

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